THIS WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE.

feelourrandom feelourrandom feelourrandom feelourrandom feelourrandom feelourrandom

(it's our community)

i think my slash goggles are permanently on a little bit too tight. because i see lesbian vibes between Amy and Amna. Even though i know Amna is married. to a man. although she's not wearing her wedding ring today...:o. make your move Amy, make your move!!!

something needs to be done about the things i dream about. because they're not really pleasant. at all. :/

this one started out fairly normally, i was just hangin out at Blair's house. Then Will, Willy, and Sean decided to go to the mall. me and blair decided to stay home. we were just watching a movie or something when i saw a bunch of official looking people in hasmat type suits outside and i was like wtf? and apparently a large gas explosion had happened at the mall. Sean comes in all like cut up and limping. by himself. He had been far enough away from the explosion to walk out with only minor injuries. and we just sort of sat around and waited for the other two. but they never came. and i had the following conversation with blair:
me: where are will and willy?
blair: i was gonna tell you sooner but...they're dead
me: WHAT?! *weeps*
and i was way more upset than was necessary. I mean, i would cry in real life if they died, but int he dream i was just SOOO upset about it. and then we were all in some sort of classroom setting discussing our feelings and what not. but here's the part that makes absolutely no sense: Dolly Parton got blamed for there being so many deaths. DOLLY PARTON. she got blamed because she somehow SANG the design of the building, and because of the way she SANG it, it wasn't structurally sound. or something. but i mean what the fuck is that.
AND THEN we were having like a party in honour of will and willy (i think) and there were actual celebrities there. Nicole Kidman and 50 cent. of all people. but 50 cent and his very large posse had everyone going out on the balcony and i was like "uhh..this is gonna cause another accident very soon after the last one..." and refused to go out there. Luckily, that's when i woke up, so there was no more death. but it really freaked me out. and i really didnt like it.

that my subconscious must hate my father. I keep having dreams where i get into huuuge fights with him. last time it was like, he asked me to do something really simple and i just started screaming at him to fuck off and that i hated him. This time it was more mixed emotions. He was being the most giant douche in the world (although i can't remember exactly what it was he was doing) but at the same time he was buying me a really nice guitar. because for some reason in the dream i was learning to play guitar. at the time i knew like two cords, so it was pretty nice of him to buy me a guitar i guess. But he also just left me at Giant Tiger. Which, i admit, is not far from my house in stratford, but why would he just leave me there? So then i get a call and he tells me there's a llama outside for me to ride home. WHAT?! so i go outside, and there is totally a llama. and i rode it home. but the dream ended before i got to see my pretty new guitar :( oh well. i couldn't have played it anyways.

and also

dear uterus
fuck off. thanks.
love amber.

tiiime to stop being a lurker again, so i'll tell you about my dream. cuz it was alot of fun.

So, we find out the apocalypse is coming. (maybe i've seen one too many ads for 2012) And for some reason the ground is seems really unstable. So the whole world gathers together, and somehow fits into two rooms, each the size of a school gym. (yes, the whole world) And i'm in the gym with the americans, and they're really gung-ho about this world ending business so they're like WELL IF ITS COMING LET IT COME, and start stomping all over the already unstable ground. and i'm like YOU GUYS CUT IT OUT, I'M NOT READY TO DIE YET!!! and us non-crazy people manage to calm them down a bit, and then the world leaders come out. And wouldn't you know it, the world isn't ending at all. Disney just wants to introduce a new product to us all at once. It's got nothing to do with the apocalypse. It's a keyboard. As in like a piano. and like half the people are like "I'd totally buy one of those" even though Disney had jsut dragged THE ENTIRE WORLD into one place and made us believe THE WORLD WAS ENDING. and no one even seemed to care.
I blame the disney part on laine.

in other news, the cat is at home now (yay) but we still have to feed him with a syringe. but im ok with that. he just needs to poop and i'll throw a party.

OHHHHH MY GODDDDDD LION KING MOOD THEME YAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i may or may not have lighted my hair on fire while getting high. lol i just said lighted didn't i? Lit. you can't actually tell much cuz it got the wispy hairs at the corner of my forehead. but its red. and it was really scary cuz there was a flame and i was like EEEEEEE *swats at head* so yeah. i'm stupid.

someone mentioned alligator so now i'm all sensitivvve its true. alligator tears cried over you. and dancing in my head. but anyways. that's not why i came here.


( i just need to say this )

- Take four books off your bookshelf.
- Write the first sentence
- Write the last sentence on page fifty
- Write the second sentence on page one hundred
- Write the next to the last sentence on page one hundred fifty
- Write the final sentence of the book
- Let your friends guess what book it is.

( GUESS GUESS GUESS )


now i'm mildly distressed because i\m not sure where a couple of them go back on the shelf AND THEY MUST BE IN THE RIGHT SPOT!!!!!

stolen from openmydoors who stole it from someone else

10 things I wish I could say, 9 things about me, 8 ways to win my heart, 7 things that cross my mind a lot, 6 things I do before I fall asleep, 5 people who mean a lot, 4 things I'm wearing, 3 songs, 2 things to do before I die, 1 'confession'.


( snip snip... )


i apologize for typing errors, and for the fact that laine's LJ isn't made into a real link. i can't remember how.

So i had this dream. I'm pretty sure i was acutally in a movie. or it was based on a movie. But it was like, I came home, and there was another woman in my house, saying that she was married to my husband and had been for twenty years. and we were both just like WTF NO I'M MARRIED TO HIM NOT YOU. oh, and the man in question was Harrison Ford. Instead of just kicking me right out of the house though she agreed to let my stay while she was at work to talk to him and figure it out, which i think is a weird thing to do. if someone came into MY house and told me they were married to my husband i would tell them to get the fuck out right away. but the dream ended before i got to talk to Harrison Ford so we'll never know whether it was me who was married to him or not.

i also had a dream that me and laine and liz were running to catch a greyhound bus but for some reason i had the cat outside and i had to go put him back inside before we could get on the bus.

i processed 146 books today. well six of them still need tattle tape, but still. there are 146 books in the Marc Garneau library that no one has opened except me. doesnt that just make you jizz your pants? i jizzed mine.

sooo i had this dream that I was transferring to a new (high)school. and the lockers there closed with TWO locks. one with your student card and a pin code, and then with a regular combination lock. but i had forgotten my combination lock. but the other lock made it ok. but i was still really really stressed about this lock thing. and i think there was a dream before that that involved my mother because when i woke up i was really pissed off at my mother. idk.


also, i like to pretend that I see flirting between the one teacher librarian and a teacher at my field placement school. They're both women. I don't know why I think it. but i do.

tegan and sara's new album Sainthood leaked today. Or i guess it was yesterday. in any case, now i can listen to it!!! so i did. and i like it. everyone in the community is a big negative nelly though, and have to give their opinion on everything. didn't their mothers ever teach them, if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. god.

in other news, the other day i had this dream where there was this group project, and someone I knew was in a group with Jason. as in Jason from the slasher films, with the hockey mask. which is completely nonsensical to me. but they were on the phone with him trying to work out details for this project, but he apparently can't talk and was just grunting his answers like urrnnnggghhh. and taht was pretty much the whole dream....

and then last night i had one that i was in st marys, which is a place i do often hang out, with my bf, usually with the same people. but in the dream i was somewhere else, and blair wasn't there yet, and i didn't recognize anyone. and i texted him like, are you coming? and he wanted to know if someone named "test" was there. which is a strange name to say the least. and before you ask "are you sure he didn't mean tess?" no, he didn't, test was a guy. I don't know how i knew it was a guy though, since i didnt know anyone there, and my answer to "is test there" was "i dont know". I jsut wanted to go to nicole's, which is where we usually hang out. and someone kept calling me about somewhere i was supposed to be about some other group project that i was apparently skipping out on....i dunno.

i like to play with my weed.

sara quin likes the rock and roll.

THIS IS THE DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS. AGE OF AQUARIUS.

tahts stuck in my head really bad and that's all the words i know. it's terribllllllle.

also, facebook is all "your account can't be accessed due to site maintenance" so i don't have anything to do other than pay attention in class, which is totally against my morals. As is pooping in public washrooms, and not loving the colour purple.

i should get a mood theme. but i don't know what kind i would want. where's our teacher? shouldn't  class be starting about now? maybe i'm wrong. maybe i'm rambling. maybe you should SHUT UP. ok. that's it. i'm done with this. GAH.






the cat better not be sitting on my computer right now. STRAIGHT TO THE POUND.

so i've been a bit lazy lately and haven't actually posted anything and i think it's about time

I just watched Snow White, cuz i bought it on DVD, because HEAVEN FORBID it should go back into the Disney Vault before i own it on DVD *rolls eyes* it also comes with a bluray copy, but what am i supposed to do with that? If i had a bluray player, why would i be buying the movie on DVD? duh

so that tonny (tawny?) girl from Sonny with a Chance sings the snow white song at the end. i lol'd.

the cat just tried to get my attention by placing his paw gently on my arm. I just almost typed "hand" instead of "paw". I swear to god the cat wants to be my boyfriend. he's so cute. but not in a cute boy way, thats just wrong.

it seems to be getting dark in here....and oh look if you just let the DVD go and don't do anything it just starts again on its own. I don't want to watch this again I should turn that off.

the cat is purring even though i'm ignoring him. silly cat.


oooohhhh man i better start the laundry if i want to get it done before it closes CAT GET OFF MY COMPUTER AOSDJSLKGHKDFJGFD.;

sooo....see you later ;)

i broke up with my bf today and none of my friends are hanging out with me. whats up with that? yuo all get a big F. for FAILURE AT FRIENDSHIP. although Jeff is at least talking to me so he gets a C+


also, the stress of being single made me have a second cigarette today and i regret it. i feel....weird. and not in a good way.

HES ACTING COMPLETELY NORMAL LIKE WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE THAT CONVERSATION THIS MORNING AND I JUST DONT KNOW WHAT IM SUPPOSED TO THINK




i need a cigarette

boys...dont make any sense.

So this morning i got upset. because me and blair will be seperated soon. and i was all "YOU'RE GONNA MOVE AWAY AND FORGET ABOUT ME WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" (not quite that intense of a cry). and he was all "i couldnt forget about you". which is great and all, but there's a but. there's always a but.
"What's gonna happen when we both move away?"
"It'll be like it was when i was still in toronto"
"i dunno if i wanna do that again"

which really kills MY hopes of a happy day. Not that we're breaking up now. Cuz we're not. I told him to just try it and if it was too hard he could break up with me and i wouldnt make a fuss about it. He didn't really agree or disagree to that though so...idk what that means. But i really have to wonder if this was a good move on my part. Am I just prolonging my own misery? Is it really going to hurt any less then than it would if we broke up now? Plus, i'm already crying now. Am I just doubling my tears? But we're still hanging out later today.

AND THEN as he's leaving he remembers we were supposed to take a picture today."oh hey, we were gonna take that picture today? when do you wanna do that?"  Cuz its my mom's birthday and i want to give her pictures of me cuz she loves that kinda shit. and there was gonna be one of me and blair. but like...if you just wanna break up with me why would you want to be in a picture that i'm going to give my mother? IT JUST DOESNT MAKE ANY SENSE AND I DONT GET IT AND I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME.

but i need to get the tears under control because if my mom sees them she'll ask questions and i really dont feel like talking about it with her right now.

I just watched Mulan. on vhs. I told laine like every other day when we were still in school that I wanted to watch it, and i only just got around to it now. But it was totally worth the wait. I love Mulan. I almost cried like five times. Pretty much whenever she had a scene with her dad. When he tries to make her feel better that she's a screwup, then when she tries to get him not sent to war, and when he yells at her more than once. Not that i'm proud i almost cried. I actually think it's a very silly thing to have happened. When did I become a cry baby? (lol, the answer is i always was)

Mulan kinda reminds me of coffee prince. cuz shes dressed up like a boy. and she likes her boss, but he thinks she's a boy. and then they get together! well..its only implied, but you know it happens. Also, i looked it up on imdb, and the voice of the bad guy was the guy from crossing jordan, and it made me laugh.

Laine: did you once tell me you knew a book that had the real story of Mulan in it? with all the hermaphroditey truth? cuz i wanna read it.


and i dunno WHAT this show is that has come on after the movie is over but it is RIDICULOUS and has terrible acting. I want gum.